Archive → February, 2010
Fortunately, I’m not really prone to bad dreams. But over the course of the thirteen years I’ve been with my partner, Marcus, there is a scary nightmare I’ve had more than once.
I’m all alone in the house. All of the windows and doors are wide open. It’s raining and the water pours in, streaming across the floors. I’m not actually paralyzed. But I can’t move. I’m frightened but also very angry. I don’t know what to do. At my side are two small suitcases, there getting damaged by the rain.
And then as sometimes happens in a dream, I understand what’s going on. I realize I can’t keep the house without Marcus. I can’t afford the house alone. Sometimes, in the dream, I’ve lost the house because I can’t pay the inheritance tax. Other times I’ve been bankrupted by lawyer’s fees because his parents are suing me to gain possession of the house (a thing they would never actually do. But, it’s a nightmare). Sometimes, I just don’t have enough money because I don’t have access to Marcus’ social security. Just that extra bit would be enough of a safety net.
But I don’t have that. I don’t have his social security because in the eyes of the law i am a stranger to him.
Finally I just leave the house, because I don’t know what else to do.
This is the only dream that has caused me to awaken, gasping and in a sweat, since I was a child.
I haven’t had the dream in a couple of years, but the terrifying memory of it came rushing back to me when my friend Tanner Efinger invited me to be a part of a rally and “rock-in” called rock for equality to raise awareness and funds to fight the inequities of social security benefits for LGBT Americans. Please visit www.rockforequality.org to learn more.
I’m involved because I want GLBT seniors afforded the same rights as straight seniors.
Okay, that’s not the whole reason. It’s not even the main reason.
Mostly I’m involved for myself. And for Marcus. I just want what’s ours.
I think about Don’t Ask Don’t Tell and all of the years it has managed to exist, in spite of how clearly wrong it is. Time truly does fly.
There always seems to be a reason to treat people badly. Always a reason why the timing is wrong.
Change? Maybe not.
Progress? Maybe next year.
I’m in my forties. There is a very real chance that in twenty years–when I’m really thinking about social security benefits–that I still might not have equality.
I’m not predicting that. I will not be accepting that.
So to make sure that’s not my fate. I’m talking now. I’m making a fuss.
Will you rock with me?
Even though it is against the law for my partner and me to get married, we sometimes act like an old married couple anyway. You know, just to flaunt the law. One of the radical, old married things we enjoy doing is learning a new word every day. (Though in reality it ends up being two or three times a week).
Certain words, in spite of having learned them before, never seem to stick in my brain. I could, for example, look up Nonplussed every day of the week and still have doubts as to its meaning. Nonplussed is something which causes you to be at a loss as to what to say. (I know that because I just looked it up–again).
So even though my partner is at work–and I’m doing whatever it is that I do–I thought how about a word of the day!
Today’s word is Carpetbagger!
According to Merriam-Webster a carpetbagger is an OUTSIDER; especially a nonresident or new resident who seeks private gain from an area often by meddling in its business or politics.
Huh. Good to know. Let’s see if we can use it in a sentence, shall we?
“By attempting to bulldoze his way into New York State politics, Harold Ford, Jr is acting very much like a carpetbagger.
Now I’m not going to blame Harold Ford, Jr for wanting to move from Tennessee to New York. I mean that’s kind of a no brainer. Right? I can forgive that.
But here are some fun facts I’m not so willing to forgive:
He twice voted for Bush’s Anti-Gay federal marriage amendment.
He voted against The Employment Non-Discrimination Act
Apparently he also voted against gay adoptions in Washington DC.
And my personal favorite, he voted against Hate Crimes prevention, because really who cares if you’re only killing minorities.
I don’t think I’m going to vote for him because his past record is. Well… Umn…
His past voting record has left me completely nonplussed.
Perhaps by the time I arrive this evening at the LGBT center on 13th street at 6:00, I will have thought of something to say. And will therefore no longer be nonplussed.
That does not, however, mean that I’ll be plussed.